What? Do my children not exist? Am I dead too? I'm super sensitive right now, hence the muddled puzzled look I gave her at the time, but I have been looking forward to my daughter's first Christmas {and always look forward to Christmas with my boy} since the moment she was born. Nothing that has happened this year will drastically change that.
If Mum has taught me anything, it's that children are your priority and you can't get moments back.
Sure, it's our first Christmas without Mum. Our first Christmas without both our parents. Of course it's going to be difficult. But with little kids that will be excited and us having our first Christmas dinner at our place, how can I not be happy? I owe it to my parents to enjoy it. And I owe it to myself to have a great day.
As the months have gone on, a lot of people who know me have come to associate me with someone who is down and out all the time. I'm not! I write about sad things but I always write about the best times in my life too! People need to understand that living in a state of mourning is a roller coaster ride that's very very bumpy. Most days I can get through without being too stressed or tearful. Then there's those really hard days. Writing for me is how I release because I find that a lot of people don't understand how I process information and how I view things.
I'm determined that this Christmas will be great, no matter what happens.
I'm healthy, I'm happy, so is my family and my parents wouldn't want us in any other state.
I'm really looking forward to Christmas. It's my favourite time of year, something I picked up from my Mum and Dad.
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